If we are constantly disappointed in ourselves for making a ‘mistake’ or not being 100%, it’s no wonder we experience unhappiness! Guilt! Depression! Low self-esteem! Frustration! Self-sabotage! Self-doubt!
In my younger years, I was always disappointed in myself for not being perfect. I’d give 10000% but if fell short just 1% I’d quit or be upset at myself. It was either all or nothing. How dare I fall short of perfection? How dare I pick up chocolate after days of eating clean? How dare I miss a workout? How dare I fail at that startup business?
How dare I?
That’s initially what we are saying – that if we want to change something, we must be perfect or else it’s not good enough. We’re not good enough.
You may think “Well, obviously we can’t be perfect!”. Although we know this consciously, too often people give up on long-term goals or desires because the root of their thinking is perfectionism. Personality types that may identify with this (but not limited too) are high achievers and may have a religious background. High expectations were demanded of you and then you demanded it of yourself and took it into adulthood unconsciously. You may have also felt unnoticed or unloved growing up, and proving yourself worthy has resulted in this perfectionist way of being.
It is possible to break free.
We don’t need to try to be perfect. For starters, give your best shot & be proud of what you have done. When you learn to be happy with the steps you take and be ok with the steps you haven’t – you give yourself permission to steadily grow. You also give yourself room to be human and it feels really, really good.
Guilt, I believe is for when we actually do something wrong or if we’re wasting our lives away. It’s meant to be a good thing, helping our conscience be more truthful. But we as a society have used guilt as a way to punish ourselves for being human! It’s a trap. It keeps people blind & unhappy. It keeps people on pills, products & dependant on external measures, never truly experiencing the GRACE that is ever abundant in this life…
Grace that will have your heart bursting with joy & freedom. Grace that will enable to you to go the distance in your goals. Grace that will allow you to see the beautiful human being you already are.
Did you know that not one of us – not you, not me – is perfect? Because there is no measurement for perfection. Did you know you can be happy right now even though you haven’t reached that goal yet? Even if you haven’t had a “perfect week”?
That is powerful. Imagine how many happy content people there would be if more of us embraced this?
Breathe in who you are right now – exhale perfectionism.
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Discussion; How do you deal with perfectionism? What has helped you break free of wanting to be perfect? Comment below for myself and others to mull over.